I Like It Rough
by LittlePlagueSpirit
Summary: "Because seriously, why would she care so much about a lame cuddly toy?" Kuki gets rid of her childhood and pays the price for that.


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Codename: Kids Next Door, nor do I own the lyrics to Lady Gaga's 'I Like It Rough'.

**Universe: **The 'LADY GAGA/ROCKY HORROR SONGFIC Universe' of angelraider. But don't let that scare you away, it isn't that prominent in the story.

**Author's Note:** And here I am, kicking myself back into the KND verse. This story takes place in, as you see 'The Lady Gaga/Rocky Horror Songfic Universe' that angelraider designed. This story is for her because she is an AMAZING writer who has come up with some great things, like her Universes, Detective!Rachel and the pairing of Ace and Lizzy, which is all kinds of awesome. So this story is for angelraider: I hope you like it.

And to all my other readers I say: Please enjoy the story.

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><p><strong>I Like It Rough<strong>

_Your love is nothing I can't fight_

_Can't sleep with the man who dims my shine_

_I'm in the bedroom with tissues and when I know you're_

_outside banging and I won't let you in_

'_Cause it's a hard life_

_With love in the world_

_And I'm a hard girl_

_Loving me is like chewing on pearls_

It's two in the morning when she hears the heavy steps of a man climbing the front porch. She hears him rattle at the door, curse and search his pockets for his keys. Then a loud bang and his voice echo through the house.

"Kuki!"

He has been drinking, she hears. His voice has that strange tremble in it which it only has when he had too many.

"Kuki, I know you're awake! Open the door!"

He is right, she is awake. She always lies awake until he arrives home. She knows he likes that, but on some days he hates it and goes out just to irritate her. He goes drinking, sings strange songs in his strong Australian accent and throws a few punches if he feels like he has to prove himself.

And he knows that she hates it when he does that. Still, she lies awake and what for him to come home, to find out that the door is locked (again), and that he has to wake everyone in the neighbourhood to make sure she opens the door. Which she does.

After a few minutes. Or half an hour. Or longer.

How long she wants him to wait outside to make sure he knows how she feels, every time he leaves.

He is still banging on the door and she slowly slides out of bed, puts her bathrobe on and goes to the living room. She gets herself a glass of wine, sits down on the cough and listens with a smile at her boyfriend trying to kick the door in, cursing at her and yelling "open this cruddy door right now, or you are going to get it!"

She already knows what he going to do. She simply enjoys him waiting outside while she takes her time and imagines how it would be this time.

A loud crash, the squeaking of the door in its screws and oh, maybe it's time to let him in. Buying a new door for the third time would be a bit slovenly. She puts her empty glass down and saunters over to the door, letting the bathrobe slide of her shoulders.

The door is still shaking by Wally's fists. She leans against it and feels the vibrating sound in her body, and knows Wally has realized that she is standing at the other side.

"Hello Wally," she speaks sweetly. "Do you want to come in?"

The fists stop for a second. "Hmm, I don't know? What makes you think that, _Kuki_?" His growling sends shivers down her spine.

She grins. "Oh, I thought you kicking the door in and waking the whole neighbourhood was just your way of saying: honey, I'm home!"

An angry scream erupts from his throat. "I'll show ya a kick! Opens this good damn door right now before I-"

"Before what, love?" She whispers, and before he destroys their front door completely, she unlocks it. With a bang it's throws open and there her boyfriend stands, blazing and sweaty, his orange hoodie ruffled and with a wild look in his eyes.

She only has one second to appreciate his composure before he hurls her into the wall, holding her hands above her head and crashes his lips on hers. She moans against his lips as his hand roams under her top, his other hand still holding her hands up. She squeaks in pleasure as he let her hands go and sucks on that special place on her neck. As she threads her fingers through his hair, he picks her up and throws her on the couch, his lips never leaving hers.

They never make it to the bed that night. Instead she wakes up in the morning with his body draped over hers and the front door hanging loose in its crews. She looks down at her man, knowing that he would be pissed all day because of his hangover and her behaviour. Still, she smiles down at him and snuggles in his chest.

Although she would never admit it, she loved nights like these.

_You got me wondering why, I_

_I like it rough, I_

_I like it rough, I_

_I like it rough_

A few days later when she is cleaning the loft, because it's raining and her boyfriend isn't home and sheesh, you have to do it once, she finds them. Not crammed in one box, but neatly and careful put away like they were made of glass instead of cotton. She can't remember who put them away, but she suspects her mother. Because seriously, why would she care so much about a bunch of lame cuddly toys?

"_Silly, don't you know them? They're Rainbow Monkeys! And they're suuuuuper cute!" _

She can't remember who said that, but she is sure that that is what they are.

They all are staring up at her with small, black eyes, rainbow antennas on their heads and in faded colours. She can't help but feel a bit freaked out by them. Were those things ever hers? Did she really once like these monkeys, so full of happiness and sunshine and sugar sweetness? She almost shudders at the idea.

When Wally sees them, he laughs his head off and asks her where she found those girly things and why aren't they in the dumpster yet? She shrugs but doesn't answer. After a few side comments about why, and where did they come from, and look at those things, he leaves it.

That night, she can't help but look at them again. They lie there, fabricated in the colours of the rainbow and all of them have that happy, cheery smile. Strange enough, she suddenly sees a girl before her eyes, bouncing up and down and hugging an orange monkey to her chest, singing:

"_Rainbow Monkeys, Rainbow Monkeys, oh so very round and super chunky!"_

Quickly, she closes the box and decides that yeah, these things should immediately go into the dumpster.

The refuse dump is close by, so the next day she takes the whole box and goes out, the lids of the box hiding its content.

On her way there, she bumps into a man and one of the toys falls out. Hasty, she mutters an excuse and reaches down to pick it up, but the man is faster. He stares at the green Rainbow Monkey in his hand and than looks up at her. A pair of dark sunglasses hides his eyes, but for reason, he looks incredibly sad. Without a word, he hands it back to her and walks away, leaving her standing there with a sudden urge to call after him, to say something, anything.

But the refuse dump closes at 5, so with a last look at his figure (how weird, a man so young and already bald!), she turns her back to him.

After she is done emptying the box in the dumpster, she keeps standing there and looks down at them. Their bright colours clash with the grey walls and the horrible smell. She looks down at her hand and notices that she still is holding the green Rainbow Monkey that the bald man gave back to her.

"_Bringing love wherever they go, everyone is made of a big rainbow! Oh red and orange, and pink and blue!" _

Well, if Wally wouldn't find out, what would it matter if she took one of them home?

_I'm shiny and I know it_

_Don't know why you want to blow it_

_Need a man who likes it rough_

_Likes it rough, likes rough_

_Baby likes it rough_

Days pass by. It isn't like she and her boyfriend are always as wild as they were a week ago. Wally and she wake up the morning, she makes him breakfast, he goes to work, she stays at home and cleans, goes out shopping or meets with her friends. They have dinner, he talks about work and she tells him about her day. Nothing extraordinaire. For the outside, they are just a sweet and happy couple, living in a nice neighbourhood and enjoying their lives.

But a piece of glass and a diamond also look the same on the outside.

He works at the gym, trains people and helps them build up their condition. That he has been in a fight with three other colleges because they 'worked on his nerves', isn't something that he says out loud. And if someone knows about it, that person values his life too much to mention anything.

She loves to go out, meet up with her friends and spend time with them. That one of her friends is a girl who she can't remember meeting and talks in third person sometimes, and another is a boy who simply refuses to ever take off his old pilot goggles, isn't something that any of the neighbours know.

Nor can one of them ever explain why their door needs to be replaced so much.

One night, it's the same thing all over again. He has left their house with a lot of slamming doors and a loud scream is what tells him goodbye, and now she is lying in her bed, awake_,_ while she looks at the clock. Half past 2. He never ever made it this late.

Then again, why would she worry? He always comes back to her.

With a huff, she turns around and gazes at their wardrobe. It's because of that stupid stuffed animal. That thing makes her feel so bloody uneasy and insecure. She hid it in the back of her closet in her underwear drawer, rapped in an old, black boxer short. Even though she hasn't looked at it since she put it away, she can feel its presence like a neutron bomb.

She clenches her teeth in frustration. How stupid for a girl like her to be freaked out by such a stupid animal like that. She is a grown up girl, an _adult_, for god sake! Those shouldn't be weird out by anything!

Still, there is that voice in her head that goes:_ "Rainbow Monkeys, Rainbow Monkeys, we looove-"_

"Kuki! Open this door, you bitch!"

Her eyes shoot open at the familiar sound of her boyfriend playing The Hulk. She shakes herself awake and slower than usual gets out of bed. When she is in the living room, she doesn't grab a bottle of wine but sits down and stares at her feet.

She never falls asleep before he is home. Never. No matter how tired she is; she never goes to bed before she know that he is home and that he would come to bed soon. She always waits for him.

But now she had fallen asleep, and suddenly everything feels out of place.

_Is it 'cause you don't mean it_

_Or because I don't feel it_

_Unless it rough_

She hears him rattle at the door and stands up, gets to the door and leans with her head against it. She feels the punches and kicks vibrating through the wood, giving her shivers, but not the nice kind of type. Also, Wally has been standing there for just five minutes and he already called her more names than he has ever done in such a short time.

So, as he gives the door another kick, she unlocks it without a word.

He throws it open and she sees him standing there, worked up and too drunk to remember that he should be angry at her because she wouldn't let him in. The sight of him almost makes her back away, like she doesn't see her boyfriend standing there, but a raging bull.

But then she bits her feelings down and crashes her lips on his. Because damnit, they always have sex after such a situation and it isn't like he forces her into it because they both like it, so _fuck_ all of her emotions because she didn't need them right now.

Still things are off tonight. Instead of the couch or the bed, they do it against the wall. And since they aren't lying on something soft and don't fall asleep somewhere, they simply do it all night long. Even though she can see the confusion in his eyes sometimes and she bursts into tears during the third round (and when he wants to ask what's wrong she shuts him up with a kiss), they are both too high on adrenaline to stop.

And she doesn't want to, because for some reason she needs to do this until she can feel the love inside her pores.

They finally stop when daylight starts creeping in. Chairs are lying on their side, a vase has been toppled over and the couch has been moved to the other side of the room. Slowly catching his breath, he gazes up at her and asks, "Wow…what was it with you tonight Kooks?"

"What's the problem? Didn't you enjoy it?" she replies with a tired smile. Laughing, Wally shakes his head and kisses her. "I didn't say that, you idiot. I loved it." She sighs happily and leans against his chest.

"I love you Kuki, you know that right?"

"Yes Wally, I know," she whispers back and digs her nails into his skin. "I love you too."

That morning, after Wally is off to work with a grin on his face, she gets her little Rainbow Monkey and goes to the refuse dump. She doesn't go to the dumpster, she takes the toy with her to the conveyor belt that leads to the big ovens.

She gives the green monkey one last look and takes it in every detail, the soft material, the little rainbow, and the kind smile. Then she lays it down and watches as the toy is taken away from her towards the rubbish chute, leading to the burning flames.

He deserves it, she thinks. She doesn't need that cuddly toy to remind her of her feelings. She doesn't need to have them when she is with Wally. She is a grown up woman who is taught to take care of her own problems and if she has any, she has people she can go to, like her family, her friends, her boyfriend. She doesn't need a _childish_ animal to remind her of fears, nerves and doubts.

Because adults like her don't have any of those.

Yet she feels more horrible with every step she takes, a cold feeling spreading through her body. When she gets home, she lies on her bed and stares at her underwear drawer all day. And when she looks at the black boxer, she can't help but to bawl her eyes out.

For some reason, it feels like she has killed someone.

_You got me wondering why, I_

_I like it rough, I_

_I like it rough, I_

_I like it rough_

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><p><strong>Author's Note:<strong> Me and my love for tragedy...All right, my next KND story will be full of happiness and sunshine and SWEET CORNY LOVE!

Reviews make me smile like crazy, so why don't you hit that orange button and tell me what you thought about this? :)


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